Keep Your Kids Off My Couch!

Rather than Vacation, Try a "Stay-cation"

Summer is approaching.  It's that time of year when moms and dads typically pool their hard-earned money, take time away from their professional lives and treat themselves and their children to a well-deserved and much needed family vacation.  Whether previous summer trips have been a weekend getaway to a nearby town or a two-week tour through Europe, this is that time when plans of "getting away" start to take shape.

What about this year?  If you are like many Americans, your family's summer vacation was one of the first things crossed off the list in an effort to save money and cutback expenses.  You may call it "ruined", "postponed", or "canceled" for this year, but I say:  Not so fast!  I urge you not to be so quick to abandon the family vacation.  Instead of viewing it as a "luxury item", something obvious to give up, I ask that for just a moment, you consider an alternative plan for you and your family this year.  A way to have a vacation more economically, but just as rewarding.  I call it the family "stay-cation".

The stay-cation is a family vacation where you stay home.  Rather than spend a lot of money on travel and hotel, your family can stay put yet take the time to explore and enjoy the history, the sites, the points of interest and places around you that are either new or something you have enjoyed in the past.  At this point you may be thinking (and understandably so) one or both of the following:

    - How is this possibly like a real vacation?

    - There's nothing interesting in my town!

Let me address both of these concerns.  First, what most families may not realize is that one of the most important things a family vacation provides is true connection and shared experiences with those closest to you.  Really, it's not about being faraway or staying in a nice hotel or bragging to friends.  If you doubt this, go grab a photo from a past vacation and take a look.  Regardless if that photo has the Eiffel Tower looming in the background or shows your 5-year-old with Shamu the whale, I'd be willing to bet what everyone remembers most about that trip is the connection that you felt as a family.  The connection from experiencing together something new, fun or even not so fun, but again, experiencing it together and having it become part of your family's memory bank. 

It is important to note here that one of the reasons you were able to be together and make those connections is because everyone on that vacation cleared their calendar as much as possible for the duration of the trip.  Emotionally and physically, a family vacation requires everyone in some way to put family first.  And that is always a good thing, even if it only happens in all earnest once a year!

And in terms of what is interesting around you in your own city, think about this:  If friends or family were travelling to see you, I bet you would be able to find points of interests for them.  You may even change things up in your own home i.e. movie night, game night, special dinners.  All of these things could be part of your own family's staycation.  Treat your family like guests and show them the town.

Here are some tips to plan a family staycation:

1.  Family Meeting.  Call the family together.  Announce the plan.  Sell it, sell it! 

2.  Be creative.  Ask each family member to plan one activity for the staycation.  Could be a monopoly night or a visit to a museum.

3.  Set a date.  Once it's in the calendar, it should be talke about just like any other vacation.  You will see the anticipation start to build.

4.  Prepare.  Just as you would if you were leaving town, take care of pressing things before the staycation begins i.e. pay bills, return calls, let people know you'll be away.  Remember, part of what makes a vacation so wonderful is taking care of things before you go.

5.  Take pictures.  Capture this staycation in photos.  Make a photo album just as you might for a vacation.

I hope you consider the idea of the family staycation and try it this summer.  And I'd love to hear about your trip!  Please write me with any ideas you and your family come up with.

Family is the most important thing we have.  And at the end of the day, family trips are not about the money we spent, the fancy or even the unusual we experience.  It is about leaving behind the daily grind and enjoying family in a relaxed and more peaceful atmosphere.  Being together as a family and experiencing new things can happen obn another continent and can also happen in your own backyard.  It takes only a little creativity and a small leap- of faith so that your family can come together and have fun doing basic things.  Your own home, if you choose it to be, can be the peaceful and fun atmosphere you need.  At least for a long weekend...

A Sober Christmas

For those facing addiction, particularly drugs and alcohol, holiday time is the most difficult stretch of time to maintain sobriety.  And while there's no magic to getting through this holiday, I do suggest aiming to be Solidly Sober.  Solidly Sober means not just sober at the edge of falling off the wagon, but sober in the middle... sober with support around you.  Wrap support around you TIGHTLY.  Support being family, friends, your sponsor and your group meetings.  You can't have enough support.   Whatever it takes, getting through the holiday season Solidly Sober is crucial.  And whether it will potentially be your first sober Christmas or your 30th sober Christmas, do what it takes.  Ask for help.  And as always, I am available to take your questions and offer support at drsophy@yahoo.com

Michelle Williams: Staying Home with Matilda

In a recent article in Newsweek magazine, Michelle Williams, mother of 3-year old Matilda--whose father is the late Heath Ledger--talked about how difficult the last 10 months have been for her.  And she talks about her decision to take a year off from work to be with Matilda full-time.  "I don't want to work while she's in school, I want her to have a routine. I want the plainest, simplest, most ordinary, habituated routine possible."  As a mother, there is nothing more significant and important that she could be doing for Matilda.

It's devastating, of course, when a tragedy or pre-mature death strikes a family--in this case, the death of father Heath Ledger.  But the fact that Michelle Williams is prioritizing in this way and choosing to take the time to stay home with Matilda will make such a positive difference in both of their lives.  This conscious connecting of mother and daughter is one of the most important building blocks of both Matilda's and Michelle's future.  And while it is a luxury that Michelle can afford this time to be a stay at home mom, it is not a typical Hollywood decision to do this. 

I wanted to point out the strength and courage that I believe Michelle is showing by this choice.

"The First Family: FAMILY FIRST"

 

From the looks of it so far, President-Elect Barack Obama is doing everything he can to help his family maintain stability during their eventual move into the White House.  First a puppy, now his mother-in-law ... both will be moving into the White House with the First Family!

 

Clearly, President-Elect Obama is a father who understands the importance of Family First.  The basics elements to a loving and solid home that he is putting in place for his children are crucial for an emotionally healthy family.  And based on these first family decisions he has made, I hope the entire watches closely as he continues to role-model so positively for his children. 

    

I believe that putting family first and getting back to basics is exactly in keeping with "the change we need" that President Barack Obama so eloquently spoke about during his campaign and continues to speak about.  After all, nothing is more important than family.